It began when my beloved glasses fell into my vegetable soup. Perhaps you are wondering why a person would allow her precious spectacles to bathe in a comforting broth next to some suspicious-looking green beans, carrots, and potatoes. And so my story begins...
Once upon a time, last week, on a Saturday, a Cistercian monk wrote the words, 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions.' This phrase usually addresses wrongdoings or 'evil' actions that are often undertaken honestly and sincerely. Lately, I've come to believe this adage really addresses good faith efforts having unintended consequences.
I was having a week. There were small victories (connecting with up-and-coming writers, finishing my address list for a fundraiser) and losses (child support coming in late, an unexpected death, and a service provider not wanting to contact my insurance and instead charging me the entire amount owed instead of the copay). Needless to say, the losses in the week tipped my emotional scale and my positive outlook was hanging in the balance. So, I sought comfort.
Surely, Mother Nature would welcome me in her open arms. I tossed on my favorite pair of overalls and headed for my backyard. Mr. Green Jeans, the name of my lawn mower (yes, the same namesake from Captain Kangaroo), and I spent some quality time picking up leaves. At first, my raw emotions were soothed. The shade was delightful. The birds chirped and I felt like I was creating some type of order within my chaotic emotions. Then I turned around...and wanted to scream.
As soon as I picked up a pile of leaves, the backyard trees showered more leaves behind me. (What the hell, Mother Earth? Can't a gal get a break?!) Instead of encouragement and relief, Great Mother threw cold water on my face. At the time being, my anger only grew. Obviously, I needed to cool off, right? I retired from yard work and headed straight toward a nap. After tossing and turning for the better part of half an hour, I turned to comfort food. Yes, comfort food would do the trick...and the trick ended with my glasses landing in the bowl.
I laughed until I cried and attempted with all of my might to channel an inner pep talk. There was nothing. My brain was blank. Usually, I could come up with some scenarios to change my perspective:
'I bet the Donner party would have been thrilled to have soup with eyeglasses.'
'Would you be upset about your glasses if Nazis were chasing after you?
'Put this pain in your pocket and move on with your day!'
None of these words of wisdom worked.
Then it dawned on me.
I don't have to have EITHER an amazing week OR an awful week. I can have a pity party AND not feel like a total loser - which leads me back to intentions. As people, writers, and creators, we do not need to box ourselves in with 'either/ or'. We are so much more than that. Sure, most people act according to their intentions because they are virtuous people. Lady Karma may come around and shove your shoulder to remind you not to walk down a certain path. Other times, she will knock you down the stairs because you are not paying attention.
Did I need to have a meltdown because my glasses fell into my soup? No. Did I need the proverbial shove down the stairs to remind me that I've got some writing to do? Yep. So, I did just that...along with enjoying some chocolate cake.
Comments